OK, first things first: go here, and immediately buy a ticket. Done? Great, now grab your calendar. Ugh, OK, buy a calendar, and draw a line between Oct. 10-13, and write "Great American Beer Festival" in big letters, because that's what you just signed up for.
The Great American Beer Festival: 3 Days, 2.8k Brews And YOU Slideshow
Great American Beer Festival
Now that's all sorted out, you just need to get to the Colorado Convention Center in Denver for the opening, and join this swarthy band of hooligans. More From Thrillist: Drink Your Way Down The Franco-Swiss Absinthe Trail
Great American Beer Festival
Clearly, when they first open the gates on Thursday at 5:30 p.m., it's quite exciting. More From Thrillist: Travel To Amsterdamn For The 2013 Cannabis Cup
Great American Beer Festival
Once inside the Colorado Convention Center, what awaits is more goddamn beer than you have ever seen in one place in your entire life... 600 brewers ... more than 2,800 beers ... Oh, good god! More From Thrillist: A 12-Day Oktoberfest Tour So Insane Only 24 People Can Go
Great American Beer Festival
It is a land so glorious that the Beer Man exists. More From Thrillist: A 12-Day Oktoberfest Tour So Insane Only 24 People Can Go
Great American Beer Festival
Everyone is SO excited there! More From Thrillist: The 9 Swankiest, Tastiest, Booziest Bowling Alleys in America
Great American Beer Festival
You're damn right that's Dr. Zaius and Abe Lincoln exchanging pleasantries. More From Thrillist: Dodgers Stadium Introduces Frozen Beer Foam
Great American Beer Festival
Some people wear neat helmets when they go. More From Thrillist: These Are The Country's Craziest Eating Challenges
Great American Beer Festival
While others wear even NEATER helmets when they go. More From Thrillist: The Best Bar In The World
Great American Beer Festival
It was nice of all these people to wear silly costumes in order to make their white-haired friend feel less like a total freak. More From Thrillist: The 5 Most Expensive Tequila Shots In America
Great American Beer Festival
People who've been drinking for three days straight bring a whole new meaning to the term photo-bombed. More From Thrillist: The 23 Best Craft Beer Tap Handles In The Country
Great American Beer Festival
They have headphone dance parties in an effort not to disturb the beer drinkers. More From Thrillist: The 14 Greatest TV Beers Of All Time
Great American Beer Festival
There are even girls there... Nerdy girls. More From Thrillist: 9 Great Brews Aged In Something Other Than A Bourbon Bottle
Great American Beer Festival
Some of the girls even get WAAAAAY into karaoke. More From Thrillist: The Most Talked About Fast Food Burgers In The US
Great American Beer Festival
Throw away those ratty No Fear and Bear Whiz tees, because they've got literally thousands of beer tees to replace them. More From Thrillist: The 17 Most Incredible Moments In Twinkie History
Great American Beer Festival
Naturally, there will be bagpipers. More From Thrillist: A Handy Map Of How You Say Beer In Every European Country
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